My mom gives me a headache...

The look on my mother's face when I dared suggest she buy French's Dijon mustard (at more than $2 cheaper) instead of Grey Poupon was almost comical. And it got even better when we went to the pharmacy department to find her some Tylenol. Funny thing: apparently, Tylenol has been on a nationwide backorder for about a year, so all they had was generic acetominophen. She actually dragged the poor pharmacist out of his cubby to say she didn't want acetominophen because her doctor said she should only take Tylenol. Even his white coat didn't convince her. As he went away, I found a bottle of Tylenol Arthritis Formula, which she pounced on and bought. "What does he know -- he didn't go to doctor school" was her scoffing comment.

Me (while trying to figure out where to put the four huge Rubbermaid totes that are now empty of Christmas stuff): Mom, where should I put these now?
Mom: Oh, they go up on the top shelf in the half-bathroom.
Me (eyeing the space doubtfully): I don't think they'll fit up there...
Mom: Sure they do! That's where they go!
Me: But...is this where they live all the time? Because they really won't go up there...
Mom: Of course it is!
Me (after putting ONE tote up there and knowing for sure now that the other three aren't going up there): Mom, there is no way these live up here all year. They. Do. Not. Fit.
Mom: Oh...well, I keep them out at K's (my sister) house. I just thought they'd fit up there once they were empty.
Me: ...

Ah, it's so wonderful to be loved and appreciated. I walked in the door to my parents' house today with Naughty and Willow, and my mother exclaimed in delight, "Oh! We have REAL company today! Wonderful!" Gee, thanks Mom. How 'bout you do your own dang grocery shopping from now on?

Rules for Shopping with Mom at Giant Eagle: You must have both a motorized scooter AND a shopping cart. Dad eats Kellog's Frosted Flakes and drinks Smith's Lemonade Tea Cooler (and no, the generics are NOT the same thing; "There's a reason they cost half as much, you know!"). You must always stop the super-wide motorized scooter DIRECTLY in the middle of any aisle whilst you peruse the dozen-and-ten coupons you brought. You never, NEVER go to a self-checkout lane. NEVER. I'm really going to miss shopping with Mom every week.

Bringing Mom some souvenir refrigerator magnets from our trip prompted her to ask me to clean the four billion magnets she already has hiding her fridge. I got really excited when she said she was going to go through them all and get rid of the ones that are old or worn or not really needed. When she was finished, she had 3,999,999,996 left. Yep -- she got rid of...four.    Well...it's a start, I guess.