When I was a kid, I played with other kids without the help of my mother. I got into arguments with other kids. I got into name-calling fights with other kids. I got left out of games that other kids were playing, and I left other kids out of games I was playing. And you know what? Not once did my mother, or any other mother, come charging up to any of us to figure out our problems and make sure everyone was playing fair.
Also...none of us went to anyone's mother to complain that so-and-so called someone a name or wasn't someone's friend any more. On the rare occasion that ever happened, the mother in question would give an exasperated eye-roll, tell whomever it was to play nice, and go back to doing the laundry or whatever, leaving the children to solve the problem on his/her own. Which, unless someone was actually injured (or in danger of being so), worked amazingly well.
Also...none of us went to anyone's mother to complain that so-and-so called someone a name or wasn't someone's friend any more. On the rare occasion that ever happened, the mother in question would give an exasperated eye-roll, tell whomever it was to play nice, and go back to doing the laundry or whatever, leaving the children to solve the problem on his/her own. Which, unless someone was actually injured (or in danger of being so), worked amazingly well.
But I'm old.
Apparently, the thing to do nowadays is for the kid who's having an issue to run up to the parent of the child he's having a problem with and tattle that so-and-so isn't playing nice/called him a name/won't be his friend/won't play with him. The first time this happened to me, I was honestly dumbstruck and stared at the child in question for a few seconds before I said, "What do you want me to do about this?" The kid was equally surprised at my question and said, "Well...stop him! That's what my mother does!" By this time, I had recovered myself, so I responded, "I'm sorry, honey -- I don't referee little kid fights. Unless you're bleeding or broken, you'll have to work this out yourself. If (the Short One) isn't playing nicely, then don't play with him." Then I went back inside and shut the door.
This continues to happen now and then, and it always makes me wonder what other parents are teaching their kids. Am I the only one who teaches her kids to solve their own problems (serious injury excepted, of course) and work out their own personal relationships? What are these other kids going to do when they move out and get into the real world?
Or...are these parents planning to continue to solve all their kids' problems for them forever?
Apparently, the thing to do nowadays is for the kid who's having an issue to run up to the parent of the child he's having a problem with and tattle that so-and-so isn't playing nice/called him a name/won't be his friend/won't play with him. The first time this happened to me, I was honestly dumbstruck and stared at the child in question for a few seconds before I said, "What do you want me to do about this?" The kid was equally surprised at my question and said, "Well...stop him! That's what my mother does!" By this time, I had recovered myself, so I responded, "I'm sorry, honey -- I don't referee little kid fights. Unless you're bleeding or broken, you'll have to work this out yourself. If (the Short One) isn't playing nicely, then don't play with him." Then I went back inside and shut the door.
This continues to happen now and then, and it always makes me wonder what other parents are teaching their kids. Am I the only one who teaches her kids to solve their own problems (serious injury excepted, of course) and work out their own personal relationships? What are these other kids going to do when they move out and get into the real world?
Or...are these parents planning to continue to solve all their kids' problems for them forever?
Perish the thought. I'll be raising self-sufficient kids, thanks.
No comments:
Post a Comment